In lieu of an afternoon snack

After a lovely morning of playing with some of our favorite friends, I waded into a difficult afternoon. My little Audrey struggles so badly with leaving friends. She wailed her way into her nap, shouting for her dear friends. Tiny Vivienne struggled to return to sleep after a too soon rest in the car on the way home. Then, I visited my prized tomatoes on the front porch who seemed to have been eaten up alive by some evil pest while we were away this morning. I love these little plants, and I began to worry for them. This string of events sent me racing to the kitchen for a some sort of food that I would take away all this afternoon angst. But, no! One month into a foray in Weight Watchers with my friends stopped me. " Sit with your anger, your worry, your overdone-ness," my friend would have said to me, had she been in my kitchen; "Feel it," I hear her say. So I sat in my nasty feelings for awhile. How do I focus on pointing my daughter to Jesus when she struggles rather than just trying to manage her and control her? How do I swallow my own pride when she resists obedience upon leaving friends' homes? How do I learn patience when my baby can't sleep, and I really, really need her to? Why does my little garden struggle? Why can't it just be easy to grow a pretty little cherry tomato? I wasn't hungry, I just wanted something to satiate my pains. I need Gospel, not cake!

I am revived now by Gospel. I can't parent in my own strength. I can't garden. But, Jesus can. And he condescends to use me, to infuse me with his strength and power. To do more than I can ask or imagine... (Jesus, I can imagine a lot...)

I feel better, but I am still really sad about my tomatoes. I think they might be dying. So, I decided to think about birthday parties. And I spent some time in a little shop on etsy called Hey Yo Yo. The name was enough to cheer me. And there were striped paper straws. Gingham cupcake papers. Adorable little things to top cakes. Not as satisfying as Gospel, but it made me forget about my tomatoes for awhile. This pretty little fan was pictured in the shop, and it gave me a smile. I like to celebrate and throw pretty little parties.

And after all, I am bound for a place where I am sure that I can grow a happy tomato and feast on it with friends as I celebrate the Creator. There will be no more crying, no more missed nap, no more running to things that can't satisfy. "On Jordan's stormy banks I stand; and cast a wishful eye; on Canaan's bright and happy land; where my possessions lie."

Dazzling glory

Hold the prism of God's Word up to the light of ordinary living so it is diffused into a rich spectrum of biblical color that dazzles and shows the glory of God in ordinary life.

Tedd and Margy Tripp in Instructing a Child's Heart

A check-up

These are my dreams for the year. I wanted to see how I was doing ...

cook simple, tasty meals for my family

this one is going pretty well. we started getting a CSA box which helps so much. my favorites are fava bean ricotta bruschetta and collard greens. i'm finding lots of new things I love.

wade through a couple thoughtful books on art history

umm, yeah. that is not so much happening.

linger in the stack of delicious unread novels on my bookshelf

again, no reading going on over here.

grow something that my family can eat and share with our friends

tomatoes and strawberries are in pots on our porch. growing. growing. hopefully, we will have a little harvest to share this summer.

pretend with Audrey

we cut out Little House in the Big Woods paper dolls. but we need to do way more pretending together!!

immerse myself in the gospel

i feel like I have dabbled in the gospel. i need a plunge in the deep end.

snuggle with Vivienne

daily, with pleasure

order my photos and make baby books

no

go to a concert with Jay

tickets for Avett Brothers, bought!

play with my friends

does joining weight watchers with my friends count? no? some room for work here.

take day trips with my girls

not enough ...

adventure in NYC with Audrey

doesn't look like this will happen, but I'm re-imagining some time in cities with my big girl. we have a plan for Chicago and San Francisco this summer.

be intentional at my work

still room for improvement.

plan my days

still feeling like life happens to us. reading a lot about simplicity. hoping and planning for a quiet simple summer.

rejoice always; pray continually

asking the Holy Spirit for a peaceful, joyful spirit.

What we look like

Photographs of our family

by the wonderful katie prentiss

Audrey, 4 yrs.

Vivienne, 7 mos.

Laura, 34 yrs.

Jay, 38 yrs.

the japanese tea garden and the shakespeare garden

at golden gate park, san francisco

Consider the lilies

Audrey was supposed to be in 2 weddings this summer. I ordered this dress for her to wear to the events surrounding the weddings. One wedding was postponed, and the other turned out to be pretty casual. The dress arrived today. It is so incredible. I am going to have to invent formal occasions to promote the wearing of it. I feel a formal tea for little girls in our future. It is mette by kristin rasmussen and can be found on etsy.

I really like clothes. Especially children's clothes. And very especially ones made by hand or small designers. I have been hesitant to share many of my thoughts about them because of judgement. I love people to think highly of me, and I know that there are lots of good reasons not to think about and spend money on children's clothing. But, in a small start to a lifelong effort to expunge my approval idol, I hope to share some of the beautiful things I love and why I love them. Like all things, clothes can be very good or very bad and sometimes both good and bad at the same time. And, I'll admit that sometimes I use thinking about them and buying them to cover up bad places in me that God should be filling up and fixing. But, in spite of that, let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater. God provided clothing to Adam and Eve as they left the garden. It was a tender thing. To cover up their shame. To give them back a little of the freedom and dignity they once completely enjoyed in their nakedness. God likes clothes, I think. "Consider the lilies of the field," it says. Aren't they beautifully dressed? Don't worry about what you will wear. God will provide beautifully for you. I think on any budget, whether large or small, and even when using clothes shared among friends, we can make beauty. Not for its own sake, but to glorify the creator of beauty. To mirror the lilies. To show that we are beautifully provided for and given lovely dignity as his created ones.

In my remember

Today when the two of us were alone in the car, Audrey said, "I keep hearing baby Lola's music in my remember." In my remember, I have been hearing my grandmother's voice, smelling the boxwood planted in the numerous gardens of the colonial American historical sites I visited while growning up, tasting the french-cut frozen green beans soaked in the syrup from the pancakes of my favorite childhood meal my dad used to make for me, and the feeling of reading a really thought-provoking academic article or coming up with some wow-idea for an essay or term paper. What is in your remember today?

Art history in action

My sister-in-law sent me a link to this video for my birthday yesterday. It made me very happy. I think it proves the value of introduction to art history courses. My favorite is the recreation of Les Meninas by Velazquez. But, the reference to David's Death of Marat is fun, too.